Writing the Hard Things with God
Part 3, When They Are Still Not Sorry (Forgive)
Jack flashed his signature smile as I pulled into the driveway at his new place. My heart was crushed, and I wondered how that same smile so many years earlier had met me at the altar on our wedding day.
Jack had no idea how hard it was for me to see him face-to-face during our children’s shared custody visits. Part of me leaped in hope at seeing him while the other knew better. My foolish heart wanted reconciliation, but reality proved otherwise. Jack saw divorce as the finish line.
I arrived for pickup to see Jack playing ball on the lawn with our six-year-old son and three-year-old daughter. The children smiled and cheered when they saw me. They were ready to go home. Jack picked up their overnight bags, chased them giggling into the car, and buckled them in. The kids said their goodbyes, and Jack shut the car door behind him. The scene made me cry because I was not in it. I had just put the car in gear when Jack stuck his head through the open passenger window unexpectedly. With his signature smile on full display, he said, “Take care now, huh.”
Jack’s words, as cordial as they might sound, struck my heart like a fiery dart, taking me to a place of despair only God could fix. Amazingly God chose that night to meet me right where I was.
Deep Dive: Jesus died on the cross to pay our sin debt, so we don’t have to. When you hang on to hurts and sins others perpetuate on you, you are essentially paying two mortgages. Yours because of your own sinful nature, and the one who wronged you because you carry the load of unforgiveness in your heart. Read Matthew 6:14 to find God’s remedy for unforgiveness.